racism

Warning this isnt really a good post to begin with... if you guys dont want to spoil the image you have abt..(good ones) i dont really recommend you to read this...



Ok.. after reading the disclaimer... like wat you saw on the post title... it's abt racism... but the twist to this is tat, it's me being racist against my own race.. not aussie being racist...(although they do.. but this post aint about them).. race typically on asian..

i dont noe since when all this started...perhaps since yesterday? this sem?

sigh~... they just happened i suppose.. slowly bit by bit it creeped into ur brain and brainwash you to have the idea that asians typically sucks in their studies and basically a burden to a project..

Even me...irony isnt it? having such a thought against my own race... well probably it's the fact that i always feel that i'm always one of the weak link in the project.. because someone like me being neither good with report writing nor presentation wont be of much use... all i have is a brain with ideas yet with no tools for me to express myself... That's y i nvr like a grp with only asians.. it just sucks to the max when the report comes out shity and there's no one to edit it...bleah...

So here i am... in despair... grouped with one asian for my project... as none of the classmates willing to grp with us.. it was suppose to be a 3 pple's group.. at most 4pple(but not recommended by the tutor).. but the thing is you can see how unwilling they are in wanting to grp with us... you can almost read their mind... and at that point of time they were doing equation which goes:


Number Asian/s x percentage of an aussie input in the project= how much extra effort you gonna put in to achieve the same result...

note: percentage varies from the number of grp members you can have...



so the stakes have risen to the fact that:
one asian = burden.. but can manage
two asians = probably a F in project...

there's 2grps with 3 pple and one odd grp with 4pple.. and my grp had 2 pple... WTH?! and the tutor din say anything.. din even bother to break up my group to join others...my god how i wished she did as it isnt nice for me to reject that asian guy's offer especially when i'm in the same tutorial as him in another subject.. GOSH ~! and i have this gut feeling that i'm going to group with him again.. but all she said was she will try to get us more grp member/s as some of them din turn up for the lecture..it's week3 and they still din bother to turn up.. would you think that they would be of any help?!.. AARRRGGHHH~!! probably tat's y she quickily added that sometimes it's good to have 2 pple instead of 3...


can i pull myself through this and graduate?? last sem to go... i dont want anything to happen to me... i am selfish.. i noe.. but who isnt... especially when i noe that i'm so weak?
I dont noe... I really dont...


everyone needs a hero in our lives in one point or another... as we all dream of being rescue..
will a hero ever come to my rescue?